credits to desmondlwx@deviantart
mmm i've been feeling rather weird recently; like i think i know what i want so i reach out for it but then somehow i hesitate and think all too much about it which ends up making me super confused to ze max yah and THEN! NOT knowing what i truly want in the end.
i hate not knowing where my life is headed, and being all discontent with the current path i am on i.e innova. i know its probably the best academic decision for me but i'm not.. Happy and i know i know there is more to life than being Happy definitely (i would hate coming off sounding like a spoiled brat) anyways ugh so there's barely 2 months left till this is all over and i don't want to make the same mistake again but it scares me when people ask "so whats after your A's?" and i'll just mumble something along the lines of "oh, university" right cause i am doing a PRE UNIVERSITY course when truth is i'm not ready to decide and maybe what i want is to take a gap year and volunteer at the SPCA or take an extended art class or learn a few new languages or just rot or whatever. i'm not the sort of person to plan out my entire future, god knows i don't have the discipline to keep to it but sometimes i feel structure is important, which probably explains why i'm bumming around not studying, well that and laziness, but mostly. i'm confused and angry, why am i even doing this?! its not what i WANT. honestly? maths? i LOATHE maths. i don't see the POINT of maths, and i'm the sort of person that needs to know why you know? i hated the "cause the sky is so blue you married a sakai on the month of june" random answer. i want to make my own choices, find my own answers. then again, am i trustworthy and mature enough to decide for myself?
i'm sorry its deep- thoughts day and my ranting is probably not making any sense. i feel like a lot of stuff clashing around inside my head, i feel i feel i feel i think too much
Basically to conclude, moi ABHOR maths. thank you very much. now, you may shake my hand. i'm going out for pasta and committing carbicide hoo~
xxx
"cause the sky is so blue you married a sakai on the month of june"
ReplyDeletehahahahaha WTF.
AND TRUST YOU to set that bag of fireworks off tsk ;] XD
x
:DD
ReplyDeletea plan definitely helps,
but detours are interesting too!
and sshhhh, but secretly, i think its a good thing you didn't go to one o'vem popular schools.